I'm a bad wrestling fan. Not only did I not put up a preview/picks post prior to WWE's Money in the Bank pay per view, I basically forgot it even happened (and thus didn't watch). And now I wake up and I find out this happened:
Randy Orton won the Money in the Bank All-Stars Match (!?!?!?!?)
WWE Champion John Cena def. Mark Henry (ugh)
World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio def. Dolph Ziggler by disqualification (?!?!?!?)
Ryback def. Chris Jericho
Divas Champion AJ Lee def. Kaitlyn
Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel def. The Miz
Damien Sandow won the World Heavyweight Championship Contract Money in the Bank Ladder Match
WWE Tag Team Champions Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns def. The Usos (Money in the Bank Kickoff Match)
OK, OK, it's not all bad. Ryback needed a win like plants need water and sunlight, the Shield beating the Usos is a no-brainer and I'm glad The Miz didn't get his milquetoast paws on the Intercontinental Title again (though so far Curtis Axel is no great shakes, I'm willing to give him time to grow as a performer). And although Damien Sandow wouldn't have been my first choice to win the "Blue" briefcase for a shot at the Big Gold Belt, I'm certainly not against it (though it makes me wonder if the writers are looking to break up the Rhodes Scholars tag team with him and Cody Rhodes, in which case NOOO I TAKE IT BACK, ME HATES IT!).
But the bad here is certainly bad. John Cena winning is like the sun coming up in the east, but if anyone was going to be able to beat him, you'd like to think the 400-pound weightlifting champion who destroys everyone in his path could. Will there be a rematch? Will it even matter? John Cena is inevitability personified.
And not only did Dolph Ziggler lose in his bid to win the Big Gold Belt back from Alberto Del Rio (who's a guy I like plenty, but I like Dolph more and would prefer to see him get a better run with a championship to raise his profile), apparently he lost because his in-storyline ally and girlfriend AJ Lee messed things up for him, leading to a big in-ring argument, which increases the probability that Dolph will be "breaking up" with his so-called Team Rocket, AJ Lee and Big E Langston. I love stables, I love little groups of wrestlers who band together and shake things up. Any time a group like this is sacrificed at the altar of moving one of its members forward into something else is sad to me. Why couldn't Dolph continue being a world-beater AND keep his cool, funny friends alongside him? They're all ready for the big time; hell, Big E is a former NXT champ and AJ is the current Divas champ, so it's not like they're two-bit losers.
But the worst, WORST WORST thing I can see about these results is that Randy Orton, he of the constant suspensions for "wellness violations" and injuries, the man whose own finisher gets more crowd reaction than he does, the man who has seemingly been purposefully kept out of major storylines for months upon months (and has shown that to be a smart decision due to his basic lack of in-ring prowess and acting ability), wins the "Red" briefcase. He won it over CM Punk. He won it over Daniel Bryan. He won it over Sheamus, who despite my dislike for his in-ring character, at least wrestles like a guy who wants to wrestle week in, week out. And the powers that be didn't even drop in a last-second shake-up replacement contestant for Kane, who was "injured" at the hands of the exciting new stable, the Wyatt Family, last week on Raw.
What more can I say about how bad a decision this is? Randy Orton's best days as a wrestler are several years behind him at this point. At least three of the other contestants in the match deserve a title shot more than he does, based on recent appearances. Most of the time he looks like he doesn't even want to be there. Will he be able to lay off the weed and steroids long enough to put a decent run together?
All that said, his match two weeks ago with Daniel Bryan on Raw was fantastic, and since I didn't see the MITB match last night, there's a chance he really set the roof on fire in there, so here's hoping Orton has been told "here's your chance to do something, so make the most of it" and this is the start of his rebirth as something approximating a wrestler who's enjoyable to watch.
WWE Champion John Cena def. Mark Henry (ugh)
World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio def. Dolph Ziggler by disqualification (?!?!?!?)
Ryback def. Chris Jericho
Divas Champion AJ Lee def. Kaitlyn
Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel def. The Miz
Damien Sandow won the World Heavyweight Championship Contract Money in the Bank Ladder Match
WWE Tag Team Champions Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns def. The Usos (Money in the Bank Kickoff Match)
OK, OK, it's not all bad. Ryback needed a win like plants need water and sunlight, the Shield beating the Usos is a no-brainer and I'm glad The Miz didn't get his milquetoast paws on the Intercontinental Title again (though so far Curtis Axel is no great shakes, I'm willing to give him time to grow as a performer). And although Damien Sandow wouldn't have been my first choice to win the "Blue" briefcase for a shot at the Big Gold Belt, I'm certainly not against it (though it makes me wonder if the writers are looking to break up the Rhodes Scholars tag team with him and Cody Rhodes, in which case NOOO I TAKE IT BACK, ME HATES IT!).
But the bad here is certainly bad. John Cena winning is like the sun coming up in the east, but if anyone was going to be able to beat him, you'd like to think the 400-pound weightlifting champion who destroys everyone in his path could. Will there be a rematch? Will it even matter? John Cena is inevitability personified.
And not only did Dolph Ziggler lose in his bid to win the Big Gold Belt back from Alberto Del Rio (who's a guy I like plenty, but I like Dolph more and would prefer to see him get a better run with a championship to raise his profile), apparently he lost because his in-storyline ally and girlfriend AJ Lee messed things up for him, leading to a big in-ring argument, which increases the probability that Dolph will be "breaking up" with his so-called Team Rocket, AJ Lee and Big E Langston. I love stables, I love little groups of wrestlers who band together and shake things up. Any time a group like this is sacrificed at the altar of moving one of its members forward into something else is sad to me. Why couldn't Dolph continue being a world-beater AND keep his cool, funny friends alongside him? They're all ready for the big time; hell, Big E is a former NXT champ and AJ is the current Divas champ, so it's not like they're two-bit losers.
But the worst, WORST WORST thing I can see about these results is that Randy Orton, he of the constant suspensions for "wellness violations" and injuries, the man whose own finisher gets more crowd reaction than he does, the man who has seemingly been purposefully kept out of major storylines for months upon months (and has shown that to be a smart decision due to his basic lack of in-ring prowess and acting ability), wins the "Red" briefcase. He won it over CM Punk. He won it over Daniel Bryan. He won it over Sheamus, who despite my dislike for his in-ring character, at least wrestles like a guy who wants to wrestle week in, week out. And the powers that be didn't even drop in a last-second shake-up replacement contestant for Kane, who was "injured" at the hands of the exciting new stable, the Wyatt Family, last week on Raw.
What more can I say about how bad a decision this is? Randy Orton's best days as a wrestler are several years behind him at this point. At least three of the other contestants in the match deserve a title shot more than he does, based on recent appearances. Most of the time he looks like he doesn't even want to be there. Will he be able to lay off the weed and steroids long enough to put a decent run together?
All that said, his match two weeks ago with Daniel Bryan on Raw was fantastic, and since I didn't see the MITB match last night, there's a chance he really set the roof on fire in there, so here's hoping Orton has been told "here's your chance to do something, so make the most of it" and this is the start of his rebirth as something approximating a wrestler who's enjoyable to watch.
